Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
