i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Randomize
