His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
this hospital has no fireball
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
