Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
