If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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