I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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