i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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