sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
