If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize