If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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