At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he shaved USA in his pubs
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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