Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
