Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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