She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
