She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
