I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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