too bad you live with your parents still
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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