Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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