you win again, gameday.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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