Joe is yelling at the trees again.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize