Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
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