They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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