if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
The air taste purple.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
