The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
