bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize