Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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