That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
