well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
