Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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