In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
