words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
