I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
