I heard we made out
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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