I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
