hotel room ftw
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
