the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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