is your mom at the bar?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
