i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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