she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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