8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
