careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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