Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
