It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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