How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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