I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
