I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize