It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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