So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
