And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
