Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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