sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
