dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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