bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
