I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
