You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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