we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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