I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Text me some of your sweat
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
