sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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