Buhtt sex?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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