Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
